Uncategorized

Introducing….. Fatty McSlim

So, here comes another blog about being fat, trying to lose weight, loving cakes, never fitting into a size 8, bla bla bla!  It’s a hot topic with many different views, but on this blog, you’ll only hear mine, my struggle with being fat, pretending I am fine about it and living in a world where some (although a minority) celebrate it and most are disgusted.

Welcome to my world, the world of Fatty McSlim

 

Plus Size Blogger

Summer Body Ready 😖😖

body-image.png

Summer Body Ready – I really detest this phrase. What does this even mean? From a social media/magazine/beauty industry view it’s likely to be more the body on the left than the right isn’t it? 🤷🏻‍♀️


Its in no way related to health or wellbeing but purely for the physical aspect of how you will look on a beach, by a pool etc.

I am just back from a week in Majorca. One of the first times I have went away without dieting, or trying to squeeze into clothes.  I bought bikinis in my actual size and wore my shorts and vests with confidence and I honestly mean real confidence.

I focused on enjoying my time with my family, soaking up the sun, smiling, laughing, shot drinking 🤦🏻‍♀️ and wearing my clothes with pride.  Here are some pics so you can see just how fabulous I felt and what ‘Summer Body Ready’ means to me  💁🏽

I still don’t like my stomach and I am working on reducing that for health reasons but it didn’t upset me or hinder my holiday they way it usually does.  I embraced that this was my shape at this moment in time and really did feel good.

I used to read body positive quotes and articles and I would roll my eyes or cringe at what I saw as fatty’s not accepting they need to lose weight.  Baring in mind I was and still am considered one of those so called fatty’s.  I missed the point that its not about being fat – its about all shapes and sizes and acceptance of you from within.

I was too caught up in what society wants me to look like.  I didn’t want to be seen as one of those women celebrating being obese and be told I was promoting ill health.  Again I was too worried about other peoples views instead of educating myself, loving myself and removing negative thoughts and opinions others may have.  Anyone can have an opinion, but how you react to this is your choice not theirs.

If you read my blogs you will I know over the past few months I have been practising body positivity and loving me for me.  I am not promoting an unhealthy lifestyle, I am promoting the ability to love yourself inside and out.  To love yourself now, not wait for this unlikely time in the future when you’ll finally feel perfect. That may mean striving to lose weight for health, striving to gain weight for health, Striving to have long hair just because you want it or striving to have the most perfect eyebrows by getting them tattooed – your choice, your body.  If you need to strive then strive but still love what and who you are while doing it.   To do this though, truly do this you have to programme your mind to remove society’s view of perfection and really focus on what makes you happy in the here and now. Have dreams but don’t stop living in the meantime.

On holiday, I didn’t think I had the perfect body, if that even exists, but I also didn’t look at anyone else and think they had the perfect body either.

A prime example of how my mindset has changed.  Sitting in the airport lounge and a girl walked by; long blonde hair, perky boobs, legs so long, tiny waist and a gorgeous tan.  My first thought was look at how insecure she looks.  She walked with her head down and scurried to her table.  The women at the next table whispered to my mum – ‘would you look at that strutting her stuff across the floor, show off.’ 2 totally different views.  One, I believe, that is starting to understand all women feel insecure and the other an underlying self loathing of herself that caused her to make such a horrid moment about another women.

I am not a martyr or filled with perfect thoughts 24/7.  In the past I have been that same women on many occasions, filled with jealousy and deep rage at my own body comparing this to other girls.  Now I strive to never think this way again.  I thought the girl looked beautiful but was sad for how insecure she looked.  She is likely used to jealous and bitchy comments which no doubt have dented her confidence as because she is what is perceived as ‘beautiful’ she is shunned for it.

I was on holiday with my mum and it saddened me how upset she got about her weight, how she thought she looked and more importantly how she felt.  My mum is one of the most bubbly, outgoing, caring people I know.  People love her company and she really does light up a room and make others laugh and enjoy themselves.  However she hates her body, like really hates it.  She felt horrid in a bikini and her clothes at night.  I kept taking photos and showing her how beautiful she was but all she could think of as how much she hated her size.  This has come from years of hearing how being overweight is ugly and shameful.

I saw myself in her.  The amount of times I ruined holidays and days out with my inner hatred.  I had this view that everyone was looking at me or when they spoke about dieting they were talking about me etc etc.  Maybe this was true but maybe it wasn’t.  Either way I let my own thoughts ruin a huge chunk of my life.

I don’t profess to have the key (or the secret – showing my age here..) to loving yourself but one tip I have for you to try – when someone gives you a compliment no matter how small or how much you disagree with it – say thanks.  Just a simple thanks and smile.  Don’t respond with ‘oh this skirt was only £3 from Primark,’ or ‘I have the biggest pants on as I am so fat’ or ‘I have chicken fillets in as my boobs are tiny’ etc etc.  Take the compliment someone has been kind enough to give you.  Use it to erase and replace one negative thought you have about yourself.  Keep doing this and you will eventually build a bank of happy thoughts.  Try it!

So, using that methodology – remove ‘Are you summer body ready and replace it with ‘Are you  Summer head ready?’

To finish off here is a post I found online which I love.

10 Facts Every Woman Should Know:
1. Everyone has rolls when they bend over.

2. When someone tells you that you’re beautiful, believe them. They aren’t lying.

3. Sometimes we all wake up with breath that could kill a goat.

4. For every woman unhappy with her stretch marks is another woman who wishes she had them.

5. You should definitely have more confidence. And if you saw yourself the way others see you, you would.

6. Don’t look for a man to save you. Be able to save yourself.

7. It’s okay to not love every part of your body….but you should.

8. We all have that one friend who seems to have it all together. That woman with the seemingly perfect life. Well, you might be that woman to someone else.

9. You should be a priority. Not an option, a last resort, or a backup plan.

10. You’re a woman. That alone makes you pretty damn remarkable.
~ Mary L. Leonard ~

Love Fatty xx

Plus Size Blogger

The Power of opening your eyes 👀

 🙋🏻 hi guys 

Week 2 of body confidence! . The focus was on feeling good about myself in the outfits I wore. 

I never used to have full length mirrors in my house. As if by only seeing my face every day I could pretend I didn’t hate my body. I could ignore what was below my chin. 

I now have one in my bedroom and one in my living room. I’ve purposely taken time to look at myself this week. Standing naked seeing my body in full, not looking away and just trying to accept what I am right in this moment. This doesn’t mean I’ll love me overnight or never want to lose weight but what it does allow me to do is open my eyes to the here and now. 

I have great skin, like really soft, blemish free skin. On my face and full body. I never appreciate that enough. I have stretch marks but they aren’t purple or red, they are silver and faded. I also have fabulous boobs. For being big, although they don’t defy gravity, they aren’t too saggy. Finally I love my bum. Like really love it. It’s big but firm and I have never hated it. These are positive things I love about my body. 

Reading this you might be thinking; well my stretch marks are bright red and my nipples are hidden under my boobs they are so saggy….. etc etc. However you may have a flat stomach where mine hangs, you may have beautiful hands were mine are tiny and wrinkled. Or like me, for a long time, you might not think there’s anything you love. 

My aim this week was to look at and start to love and appreciate my body. By picking out what I see as my good points, it allows me to grow in body confidence. 

Of course the ultimate aim is to eventually love my hanging stomach and wrinkly hands but I’m taking baby steps and it’s working! 

This week I’ve shared some of my outfits, some of these were hard to wear confidently but I went for it. The photos are front facing I know and maybe next week I’ll be brave enough to share side on! Dont worry no naked shots will ever appear – I promise you that! 

I’m determined to continue with my journey in body confidence. Next week I go to Majorca and this will be a real challenge but I’m up for it. 

2 things also happened this week that I wanted to share in my blog. 

The first is about a girl I went to school with. I won’t share her name but I’m sure she won’t mind me telling this. 

She follows my blog and from chats and posts she puts on social media I can tell she is like most women and has lost some confidence in her body as she’s got older. Someone close to her has also lost a loads of weight and I know from experience that although your proud of them it can be frustrating if your not happy with yourself. 

This week her husband shared a photo of them both and he wrote something along the lines of ‘me and a hotty’ – and he was right, she looked tremendous. Her dress was lovely but not only that she genuinely looked happy in her face too. She seems a genuinely smiling person but she shone out more in this photo. 

It made me think ‘awwww’ that he wrote that but I also told her she looked great and she responded by telling me that my blog gave her the confidence to wear the dress! 

This girl isn’t big – not that it matters but it shows that all shapes and sizes have body worries. If my ramblings have given one person the confidence to wear a dress they wouldn’t normally have then I think that’s fabulous! 

The 2nd is about a girl I don’t know too well but we got chatting at a friends house last week and on to the topic of body confidence. I’d had a few glasses (ok bottles..) of prosecco so some of it is hazy but you’ll get the main theme. 🍾🥂

She told me she hated her bum how she’s a totally different size on top. I asked her if she minded telling me the difference and she was an 8 on top and either a 12 or 14 on bottom. 

I think she always looks brilliant. She’s one of those girls who wears quite quirky clothes and always looks amazing.  If I wore her clothes I’d look like I ran through 5 separate washing lines picking random items to throw on. 

For me though it was sad to hear that we think being an 8 on top and 12 on bottom is wrong? She wasn’t wailing and crying or putting herself down, she seemed quite accepting of it but shared that it annoyed her for years. 

Some people wish for money, some people wish for health and some people wish for true love. 

I’ve wished for all of them at one point in my life but these days my wish is for acceptance. Acceptance of all body shapes. 

This acceptance has to start from within though. Within each and every one of us. Only then, when we have the confidence to say ‘this is me’ and really mean it will acceptance grow. 💋

Plus Size Blogger

Being Flabulous 😜👸🏻

1 week into the Love my body mindset. The sun is shining so I’m being tested to the limit here. No hiding in baggy black clothing – well I could but I’m likely to draw more attention to myself.

Unfortunately this isn’t an overnight process but you can make progress in your mindset with a few small changes. 

My pink velour trousers – I’m in LOVE. 

Wore them today with a white vest and denim jacket. I, at first, typed ‘wee denim jacket’ but no amount of positivity would make this correct 😂😂. Realism has to still exist eh? 

I never normally wear trousers and especially on a sunny day I’d have a dress on. This time it had nothing to do with thinking I’m too fat. I basically just hadn’t shaved my legs – more of a general “being a girl” problem. There’s likely another type of blog for this, in terms of living with the natural look but this would be too far even for me.  

Go you if you embrace it though….

My plan for the next weeks is to focus on making myself feel great minus diets and weight worry. Shaving my legs really has to be on this list. I resemble a man these days. 

So far I’ve had my nails redone, booked appointments to go back to blond ombré and a set of Russian semi permanent eyelashes. 

I’m not saying this is a magic cure for everyone. I like being and feeling glam and recently stopped getting my hair done, my lashes and nails etc. This made me feel even worse about myself. 

Beauty treatments might not be your thing but find out what is and focus on doing this. Things that make you feel good. 

I may still be fat but I’ll look damn good in it. 

The bed hasn’t broke for a while so maybe my positive vibes are paying off. 😜

Have a great weekend, enjoy the sun ☀️ 

Plus Size Blogger

Wishing your life away….


👉 Stop waiting for your real life to begin in 10, 20, 50 pounds. It’s happening now. 👈

There’s a Monday motivation quote for you! A statement from one of my favourite twitter accounts (below) 


There will be many of you waking up today with Monday blues, a hatred of your body and even some of you starting another Monday diet or exercise regime.

STOP!!

On this bank holiday Monday, step back for 10 mins. That’s all, just 10 mins and think about the positives you have right now. Not those you think you’ll have when you lose weight, but those you have right now! 

My dad used to constantly tell me, as a teenager, to stop wishing my life away. My thoughts were full of things like; “can’t wait until I’m 16 then I’ll have more freedom, can’t wait until I’m 18 as school will be over, can’t wait until I’m 21 then uni will be over.”

Even thinking about this makes me cringe. Why was I not living it up during these years, drinking in every precious moment. I did wish my life away and now I’m doing the same but with my weight.

“Can’t wait until I’m 5 stone lighter then I’ll be more confident in my job, can’t wait until I’m 5 stone lighter then I’ll enjoy my holiday more, can’t wait until I’m 5 stone lighter then all my troubles will disappear” – REALLY?!??!!

I’m promising myself a different mindset. I’m living in the present, the here and now! Continue with your diet plan or exercise regime if that’s what you want but don’t let this stop you living now. Don’t wait or put things on hold, do it, live it and breathe it now!

I’m throwing out the ‘can’t waits.’

I’m not saying your life and mine will now be perfect. We are allowed to struggle, to have bad days and to need support. I just want to stop wishing away the minutes. Minutes I wished away years ago that I now want back and can’t have. It sounds cheesy but we must make every minute count.

Live here, live now! Not wallowing in 1985 or waiting for 2025. Enjoy your memories and be excited for your future but don’t forget the most important time. The here and the now.

💋💋

Plus Size Blogger

Club Rules & Full length selfies 🎀

I have missed this. A lot! Last week I didn’t blog and it feels like so much longer.

I’d love to tell you I was super busy or I had some big project on but the reality is; I was out partying. It was a day of celebration and the aftermath lasted all week.

TRANSLATION – 1 week’s hangover. 

This was one of the triggers for my topic this week.  I didn’t only suffer with the physical aspects of a hangover, the mental side was just as bad. Trying to feel myself again and get rid of the self-loathing, fear and paranoia I experienced along with the sickness, headaches, tiredness etc etc, took time.

I used to be a serious party animal. Out Thursday to Sunday most weeks, a busy social life. Cocktails, champagne or even pints! Physical hangovers were part of my life and I just accepted them. In the past year or so I have cut back on going out as much but when I do go out, I find it harder to recover mentally. My belief in needing a strong mental health increases day on day with everything I experience.

I believe my issues with my inability to lose weight stem from a mental block and I regularly look for ways to overcome this. Recently I have signed up to attend a seminar run by The Chachi Power Project on the Power of Loving your body. 

This project focuses on body positivity and confidence and encouraging you to do something for your body and your mind every day. Read here for more details – https://medium.com/@dannigordon/the-chachi-power-project-and-my-mission-to-understand-body-confidence-5b77539cf4fe

They recently shared a set of ‘rules’ on their instagram page for their Self Love Club;

  • You must always show yourself respect, love, forgiveness and understanding
  • You must show each other respect, love, forgiveness and understanding
  • You must be kind to your body and you must take care of your mental health. 

I adore this! So simple but an integral part of implementing a healthier way to live. Put ting your criticism of you as a whole, plus your critidms of others, aside and just show love, forgiveness and understanding. You are in this body, if you’re lucky, for over 70 years. Why do we spend most of that time hating it just because of how it looks?? Hating the framework that is the centre of and your main support function. How can we expect to love others if we can’t even love one of the most important thing in our lives – our bodies? 

No wonder our mental health can suffer when we can have so much hatred and loathing for something as simple as the shape of a bag of skin with some bones in it. Yes it’s a simplistic view but it’s the basic truth. So much of our day is spent criticising and comparing one of the most magical things to be created not realising the wonderful amazing things it does for us. I cannot let myself get to 70 and look back thinking my main focus on life was my hatred of my body. How much of a waste is this?? What memorable stories I will have of failed diets and self-hatred. 🙄It’s like a light bulb for me – it has to stop!

This has been a tough few months, I think for people who know me well it has been a struggle for them to see this side of me. I have let my own self loathing and the actions of others turn me into a bit of a mess. I’ve focused too much on past events and let them eat me up. There are things I can’t go back and change or go back and react differently but instead of learning and moving on I have wallowed and hated myself. 

 Some friends have even commented that it comes through in my writing. This, at first, made me sad as I want to be seen as the funny, happy go lucky person but then I wouldn’t be true to myself as no one has a constantly happy life. As a blogger you have to be real and relatable.

I am looking forward to attending The Chachi Live event. There are 2 speakers – Michelle Elman of Mindset for Life who is talking about changing your mindset towards body confidence, and the real effect that could have on your life – and Nadia from the Self Esteem Team talking about the importance of good self body image in young people. I may even do some live blogging at the event and share. If you are interested here is the link. Its in Edinburgh – https://www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/chachi-live-the-power-of-loving-your-body-tickets-33555198502?aff=eac2

Taking my new found “body positive” mind forward, I have entered a competition for a plus size brand ambassador. Basically one of my favourite shops Elsie’s Attic have been appealing for brand ambassadors of all shapes to promote their clothing. Elsie’s attic is where I bought infamous red tulle skirt and I love their different pieces. This week they asked for those size 18 plus who are good at taking selfies and live over social media to send in a full length selfie by Monday 1st May to be in with a chance of winning. There are many 18 plus beauties out there but who knows – they might just like me?? Keep your fingers, toes and the rest of wonderful bodies crossed for me – send positive thoughts with your healthy confident minds! Here are the full length selfies I sent on.

 

I’ll leave you with this for your week….

Plus Size Blogger

Easter Treats and underwear selfies 🤷🏻‍♀️


How will you be spending Easter Sunday?? Covered in chocolate with bucks fizz for breakfast?  If you have abstained during lent you will be looking forward to the Easter indulgence.
For some its a religious time and the lent penance they have taken will be broken come the weekend.  For others its egg hunts, Easter bonnets and family time.

Shops are piled high with Easter treats just now and it got me thinking about what Easter means to me.

Childhood memories of new outfits for Sunday mass and being allowed a chocolate egg for breakfast.  I also always associate Easter Sunday with a sunny day.

My adulthood years have memories of the latest diet class I would be attending and the leader talking the group through how many calories were in each type of Easter egg and advice on how to have a lower fat Easter holiday.  As you can imagine this usually fell on deaf ears 🙂 Its unlikely I bothered how many syns, points or checks were in the lindt egg as I stuffed it in my mouth!! 

My mum was delighted this week as her friend bought her an Easter egg which is apparently the first one anyone has ever bought her. I was sent picture of said egg but she failed to mention the clothes, lunches out and/or other Easter gifts she’s always got in place of an Egg. Nothing like a mother’s guilt comment to shame you eh? 😳🙄☺️ so I’m off to Tesco this morning to make sure she gets an egg this year. 

Also this week, my twitter timeline and some of instagram has been filled with underwear selfies. Mainly from plus size girls proudly showing off their curves. 

It’s funny that this sticks out to me as our social media pages are constantly filled with underwear and bikini shots of slimmer girls and I never bat an eyelid, it’s become the norm. 

One article I read and I quote said ‘

Many people have touted how important being confident in your own skin in the real world is, and they are right. There’s something magical about a fat girl flaunting her curves unapologetically in clothes that others would say only belongs to a certain body type because it inspires others to do the same, just like an underwear selfie. I used to scour Instagram for photos women who had my body type showing it off because it inspired me to do the same. It allowed me to see someone with stretch marks and cellulite, and rolls and say “I look like that too,”‘ she added. ‘It’s important for people to see themselves represented so that way we can encourage the next generation to be more unapologetic than the last.’ “

I’m not sure I’m for flaunting my body for the world to see whether I’m a size 6 or a size 26. I don’t think people I work or socialise with need to see me in my full glory on my social media pages. If you remember my previous blog on my ‘icloud’ mistakes you’ll know why! 

However, I can resonate with the comment in terms of buying clothes online. For example, this week I wanted to update my underwear collection and was looking in the usual sites for bigger cup bras. I don’t usually find it difficult, I’m a 36G or GG and there is a wide selection which has grown over the years. 

The problem I have is finding shorts/pants/thong to match in my size. Retailers who stock bigger cup sizes still seem to believe that even though you have a big bust, you’ll still be no bigger than a size 14 on bottom. I’m a size 20 and the bottoms never seem to go up that big. 

The models are also never really plus size and stand like tiny barbies. They look amazing there is no doubt but it would be good to see different body shapes. I’m not in any way saying get rid of slimmer models as we need representatives of all shapes. It would just be nice to include a belly or 2 here and there. 

On that note though, If you are looking for good sized underwear, a wee gem of a place you might never think to look is Ann Summers! I found it last year after searching for bikinis. I got this one from the Jessica Wright campaign. 


Now before you think your on a different type of blog – don’t panic! I mean normal every day underwear but you know, if you’re into crotchless panties then they have that too 😜

Ann summers go up to a size G in bust and size 24 in some knickers. They have lovely wee sets. It all comes in discrete packaging don’t panic – your neighbours wont talk about you. 

Anyway, enough of my ramblings, the sun is shining, I’ve had over 12 hours sleep – that’s what happens when I go for a ‘nap’ at 5pm and I’m off to meet a lovely friend for brunch. 

Have a great weekend 💋💋

Plus Size Blogger

Sunny Days and Fat fashion

This was my first thought as I began to write this latest blog. I had moans at the ready about how fat I currently feel right now and how the sun just adds to my problems.

I moan about tights the majority of the year until we get our week of Scottish summer and then I am begging for some rain so I can put my thick black opaque tights back on. During this weather my daywear normally consists of black leggings, black leggings and black leggings.

I have hoards of beautiful dresses but this requires the following;

  1. Optimism that one will fit
  2. Ensuring I have shaved my legs
  3. Ensuring the fake tan is on and not patchy
  4. Ensuring I don’t have long to walk in my day or the dreaded thigh rub appears

How can I turn such fabulous weather into a negitive in a few seconds?? I mean really, I need to give myself a good shake.

There is a good bikini body meme floating about that I love – a version I have shared below;

It got me thinking about my whole body image and how, in less than 7 weeks, I go to Majorca and I need to start thinking about buying clothes to take with me.

I love fashion and Asos is one of my favourite places for plus size clothing. I decided to have a look this week and wasn’t disappointed. 

Here are a few of my summer purchases. 


I’m so in love with that polka dot sun dress, it’s really unusual and the flared section at the bottom sets it off. I also thought this skirt would be great dressed up with a lacy cami or bodysuit or dressed down with a plain or slogan t shirt!

I also bought the following shorts that I could wear over a bikini during the day or at night with a plainer top like this.  I have fat legs I know but with a bit of suntan they always look much better! 


I adore dresses and my holiday suitcase is usually full of them! So it is natural I bought a few more….


What I really wanted to buy was this red jumpsuit below. However I’d need serious confidence that night or maybe a few glasses of fizz beforehand! Failing that I could ‘forget’ to look in the mirror. This would show every lump and bump but I love it.

I didn’t buy it as I don’t feel that brave…… yet!


 

Out comes the razor and the fake tan. Moaning over! There are plenty of things that can make me feel good in the sun. If I get off my lazy fat ass and prep!

This week I’ve also noticed Facebook starting to fill up with online boutiques again. New summer stock coming in and girls modelling the latest range to come into their shops. All in sizes 6-12…or ‘one size’ which means up to a 10……..🙄😴

There is such a huge space in the market for plus size versions but as I’ve mentioned before in previous blogs, the wholesale market for clothing over a 14 is dire.

I follow many plus size bloggers on twitter and I’m starting to see one or two plus size boutiques pop up. Mainly down south in England. This has given me optimism and a push to go back out and research again. 

Watch this space, you never know, in a year or 2 you may have a ‘Lulu’s’ plus size boutique pop up in your Scottish village/high street…… 😜😍 #dreams

All this positivity was a great boost! Then I came to bed, turned over and the slats in the bed broke again 🙈. That’s called REALITY! 

Happy Weekend 💋💋