Summer Body Ready – I really detest this phrase. What does this even mean? From a social media/magazine/beauty industry view it’s likely to be more the body on the left than the right isn’t it?
Its in no way related to health or wellbeing but purely for the physical aspect of how you will look on a beach, by a pool etc.
I am just back from a week in Majorca. One of the first times I have went away without dieting, or trying to squeeze into clothes. I bought bikinis in my actual size and wore my shorts and vests with confidence and I honestly mean real confidence.
I focused on enjoying my time with my family, soaking up the sun, smiling, laughing, shot drinking and wearing my clothes with pride. Here are some pics so you can see just how fabulous I felt and what ‘Summer Body Ready’ means to me
I still don’t like my stomach and I am working on reducing that for health reasons but it didn’t upset me or hinder my holiday they way it usually does. I embraced that this was my shape at this moment in time and really did feel good.
I used to read body positive quotes and articles and I would roll my eyes or cringe at what I saw as fatty’s not accepting they need to lose weight. Baring in mind I was and still am considered one of those so called fatty’s. I missed the point that its not about being fat – its about all shapes and sizes and acceptance of you from within.
I was too caught up in what society wants me to look like. I didn’t want to be seen as one of those women celebrating being obese and be told I was promoting ill health. Again I was too worried about other peoples views instead of educating myself, loving myself and removing negative thoughts and opinions others may have. Anyone can have an opinion, but how you react to this is your choice not theirs.
If you read my blogs you will I know over the past few months I have been practising body positivity and loving me for me. I am not promoting an unhealthy lifestyle, I am promoting the ability to love yourself inside and out. To love yourself now, not wait for this unlikely time in the future when you’ll finally feel perfect. That may mean striving to lose weight for health, striving to gain weight for health, Striving to have long hair just because you want it or striving to have the most perfect eyebrows by getting them tattooed – your choice, your body. If you need to strive then strive but still love what and who you are while doing it. To do this though, truly do this you have to programme your mind to remove society’s view of perfection and really focus on what makes you happy in the here and now. Have dreams but don’t stop living in the meantime.
On holiday, I didn’t think I had the perfect body, if that even exists, but I also didn’t look at anyone else and think they had the perfect body either.
A prime example of how my mindset has changed. Sitting in the airport lounge and a girl walked by; long blonde hair, perky boobs, legs so long, tiny waist and a gorgeous tan. My first thought was look at how insecure she looks. She walked with her head down and scurried to her table. The women at the next table whispered to my mum – ‘would you look at that strutting her stuff across the floor, show off.’ 2 totally different views. One, I believe, that is starting to understand all women feel insecure and the other an underlying self loathing of herself that caused her to make such a horrid moment about another women.
I am not a martyr or filled with perfect thoughts 24/7. In the past I have been that same women on many occasions, filled with jealousy and deep rage at my own body comparing this to other girls. Now I strive to never think this way again. I thought the girl looked beautiful but was sad for how insecure she looked. She is likely used to jealous and bitchy comments which no doubt have dented her confidence as because she is what is perceived as ‘beautiful’ she is shunned for it.
I was on holiday with my mum and it saddened me how upset she got about her weight, how she thought she looked and more importantly how she felt. My mum is one of the most bubbly, outgoing, caring people I know. People love her company and she really does light up a room and make others laugh and enjoy themselves. However she hates her body, like really hates it. She felt horrid in a bikini and her clothes at night. I kept taking photos and showing her how beautiful she was but all she could think of as how much she hated her size. This has come from years of hearing how being overweight is ugly and shameful.
I saw myself in her. The amount of times I ruined holidays and days out with my inner hatred. I had this view that everyone was looking at me or when they spoke about dieting they were talking about me etc etc. Maybe this was true but maybe it wasn’t. Either way I let my own thoughts ruin a huge chunk of my life.
I don’t profess to have the key (or the secret – showing my age here..) to loving yourself but one tip I have for you to try – when someone gives you a compliment no matter how small or how much you disagree with it – say thanks. Just a simple thanks and smile. Don’t respond with ‘oh this skirt was only £3 from Primark,’ or ‘I have the biggest pants on as I am so fat’ or ‘I have chicken fillets in as my boobs are tiny’ etc etc. Take the compliment someone has been kind enough to give you. Use it to erase and replace one negative thought you have about yourself. Keep doing this and you will eventually build a bank of happy thoughts. Try it!
So, using that methodology – remove ‘Are you summer body ready and replace it with ‘Are you Summer head ready?’
To finish off here is a post I found online which I love.
10 Facts Every Woman Should Know:
1. Everyone has rolls when they bend over.
2. When someone tells you that you’re beautiful, believe them. They aren’t lying.
3. Sometimes we all wake up with breath that could kill a goat.
4. For every woman unhappy with her stretch marks is another woman who wishes she had them.
5. You should definitely have more confidence. And if you saw yourself the way others see you, you would.
6. Don’t look for a man to save you. Be able to save yourself.
7. It’s okay to not love every part of your body….but you should.
8. We all have that one friend who seems to have it all together. That woman with the seemingly perfect life. Well, you might be that woman to someone else.
9. You should be a priority. Not an option, a last resort, or a backup plan.
10. You’re a woman. That alone makes you pretty damn remarkable.
~ Mary L. Leonard ~
Love Fatty xx